Posts Tagged ‘counseling’

Obsessions and Compulsions

February 18, 2014

 

Are you a Prisoner of your own disturbing thoughts?

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The Girl Friend from Hell

September 6, 2011

Hypnotherapy (Counseling + Hypnosis) is quite effective in treating OCD

Andrew (not his real name) American lawyer, 42 years old good looking, became extremely obsessed with Fiona (not her real name), a 24 years old  stewardess (with a South East Asian Airline).  They broke up their stormy relationship many times – but he never was able to forget her and always started the relationship again by using every compulsive method possible: Stalking her with love laden, sweet, nasty, harsh, threatening SMSs, morally pressured her with phone calls every hour (how can you leave me after all the things I did for you?), followed her whenever possible and even visited her parents on a daily basis to make her feel bad and guilty. Consciously he knew that he had to end this unhealthy relationship and to stop these unwanted thoughts about her (Obsession). His behavior started to jeopardize his work moral and efficiency. His bosses gave him the friendly advice to simply forget her otherwise… Subconsciously he couldn’t get out of his mental and emotional trap – namely being still in love with her – despite all her flaws.

… And this is how he described “lovely” Fiona and their relationship:

1) She lied about the nature of her previous relationship – she said he was just dating him & never had intercourse. Later she admitted that they had intercourse!

2) She lied about the number of times she had intercourse with her first boyfriend – initially she said she had intercourse 5 times – but stopped because “they felt guilty as unmarried because of their religion”. She later admitted it was hundreds of times & she enjoyed it very much.

3) She is the most undependable person I have ever met when it comes to time commitments – for entire course of 3 years relationship – she always was late (sometimes hours).

4) She is the most finicky eater I have ever seen – compulsive checks to make sure anything she eats is Halal.

5) She is prone to fiery temper tantrums where her first reaction is to break-up, pictures are ripped up or turned backwards.

6) In the first half of our relationship, I constantly had problems with her staring at “handsome” strangers and head swiveling around to check out other guys. This behavior made many people uncomfortable and I have never seen anyone act so disrespectful.

7) She had a crush on my model housemate and flirted so overtly in front of other friends which caused major embarrassing incidents.

8) Upon meeting one of my good friends, she informed me (very seriously) that if we break up, she would like to “get to know him”. When I asked her if that implied that she would like to have sex with him – she replied that once we break up – she could do anything she wants and its none of my business anymore – even if it means having sex with one of my friends.

9) Her behavior towards me during breakups was vicious. She said incredible hurtful things, informed all of her friends of all (my) dirty laundry and always left a nuclear winter landscape that I always tried to patch up.

10) Once we were broken up, it was always me trying to rescue the relationship and bring her out of her dark hole.

11) Everything was always my fault and she was virtually incapable of saying sorry. She probably never apologized.

….but I still love her!

Andrew knew that his obsession and compulsion made no sense (as she has left him for good and moved to another country), but he couldn’t ignore or stop them.

That’s why he came seeing me. I have a great deal of experience with obsessive compulsive individuals (OCD) who are tearing themselves apart with their miserable thoughts. Andrew responded well to hypnotherapy sessions (cognitive behavior therapy +clinical hypnosis) which mainly focused on teaching him how to distract his mind from his obsession with Fiona and dwell on more positive and productive thoughts.

Final result:  A Phone call from Andrew: “I have a new girlfriend and I don’t think about Fiona anymore!

Meiling’s Surprising Revelation (Age-Regression)

August 10, 2011

"Miracle Chair"Since childhood – Meiling (not her real name) an attractive 27-year-old Singaporean woman felt sad, angry and guilty, in particular in the presence of her mother. Both frequently argued over small things. She often changed jobs and could not maintain stable relationships with any men. She had been seeing several psychologists and a psychiatrist, who all diagnosed her as “clinical depressed”. Following their advice she swallowed the prescribed antidepressant – but her feelings didn’t change at all over the next half-year.

Then she came to see me and asked for help. During the first session of Hypnotherapy – which is the combination of counseling (Psychotherapy) and clinical Hypnosis – she began to regress. On my request she began to describe her environment. M: I’m swimming. Dr: Are you swimming in a pool – A lake or the sea? M: Neither of them – it is so dark here. The texture of the water feels so strange. I can’t see much;  oh ..next to me floats a baby doll without hairs . And in front of me there is a small opening through  which  I can hear  my father  frantically arguing with my grandmother. Grandma is constantly shaking her head and my mother is screaming painfully loud.

After her reorientation into the here and now, I asked her what she makes of this trance experience. She hesitated for a moment and then answered:”I believe I just have relived my birth. The water, in which I was “swimming” was not pool or sea water – but amniotic fluid surrounding the fetus”.

In fact Meiling had experienced herself in her mother’s womb on the day of labor. And the screaming of the mother was cause by her painful contractions.  I further probed her: What about the baby doll floating next to you? M: Maybe it wasn’t a doll but a twin sibling. Dr: But if that’s so where is the sibling now?

And then it burst out of her: My parents always emphasized that they only can afford 2 children. I have an older brother already! Therefore 3 kids would be too much –Maybe my parents picked me over the other sibling and let him die. This also explains the hefty discussion between my father and my grandmother. Maybe my grandma wanted both children while my father only wanted a girl – me. And if this is so, then I know why I’m permanently depressed, angry and have feelings of guilt – because then I was the reason for the death of my twin sibling.

I calmed her down and suggested that she asks her mother what really happened.

And as I anticipated this was the outcome of the story: Her mother was extremely surprise being confronted with the question of a possible twin sibling. Meiling’s mother never had told anybody that she not only gave birth to Meiling but also to a twin who died some minutes later on that day.

Nowadays Meiling has a very good relationship with her parents.  She is happy to know that she was not chosen over her brother’s fate and thus not the reason for the death of her twin. Today she feels good about herself and has become a successful financial advisor. Last but not least she entered into a well-functioning relationship with a nice man.


M: Client Meiling

Dr:  Dr Auer